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CADMIUM

by Elsa Kennedy

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    bonus track: brownian motion [e] : the cadmium ep was originally released for streaming on december 27th, 2019.
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1.
Amy Pine and ash Alchemy veins, bleeding out Countries in flames, fleeing crowds I ask you to stay, though I know it's hard Smoke on the wings of an albatross Choke on a plastic sea or the blackened amazon And you feel it in your skin Like you've got redwoods within Amy, wine in glass Iced over eyes, unfocused pain Your sleet-kissed spines splintering I take one in my palm and press it to my chest And I climb until I'm so tall, I see the city's breath And I stand and call the gods that live upon this ledge They remember me from all the times I almost leapt They send you on the wind to places far and wild And when I look ahead I see you for miles, for miles When I look ahead I see you for miles When I look ahead I see you for miles When I look up I see cedar and returning life When I look ahead I see you for miles And you feel it in your skin Like you've got redwoods - You feel it in your skin Like you've got redwoods within
2.
cripple punk 04:13
I've been licking my wounds I've been bathing in bleach Now I'm scrubbing my skin But I can't seem to get clean 'Cause my body is a gutter For a daydreams suicide Where prayers turn to junkies And wishes pray to die And in my crippled cage I rage, I moan, and I whine 'Cause I have cats and dogs That claw and paw at my insides I'm a sick woman with a dream Sucking on the teat of that vow They said if I gave my everything It'd come back to me But now it's curdled and sour, yes it is Now it's curdled and sour Try to tell you a joke It gets stuck in my throat And suddenly I'm wheezing, Ahh, Funny Man, Fate Man - I see you You really like to snip at my strings Cut me open when you get into a bad mood But keep me hoping that someday I'll be free Never, never, never Will you just let me be And so I writhe, and cry, and weep 'Cause my body is a gutter For a daydreams suicide And maybe, maybe mine And in my crippled corset My wounds come back again 'Cause I have cats and dogs That claw and paw at my skin I'm a sick woman with a dream Sucking on the teat of that vow They said if I gave my everything It'd come back to me But now it's curdled and sour, yes it is Now it's curdled and sour, oh Now it's curdled and sour Now it's curdled and sour I've been licking my wounds I've been bathing in bleach Now I'm scrubbing my skin But I can't seem to get clean
3.
You will always find me where I was Even if I move, even if I die Even if I become Someone else, I'll be her Sneaking out, getting hurt Climbing trees to fall asleep Somewhere away from you Somewhere away from me I'm sorry that's who you took along I suppose she is quiet and small I only want you to have it easy But that's proving hard to let you do Oh, to let you go So I guess that I'm carrying, too You as I remember you I'm not saying it's your fault I won't tell you I hate you to silence your guilt I always needed you in my peripheral vision See, don't you, Natalie? I loved you poorly, but with all of my ability I was a playground full of carpenter bees I dug a hole and tried to hide in everything So far, you couldn't reach, but I always wished that I could take you with me I'm not saying it's your fault I won't tell you I hate you to silence your guilt I always needed you in my peripheral vision See, don't you, Natalie? I loved you poorly, but with all of my ability I was a playground full of carpenter bees I dug a hole and tried to hide in everything So far, you couldn't reach, but Know I always wished that I could take you with me I'm not saying it's your fault I won't tell you I hate you to silence your guilt I always needed you See, don't you, Natalie? I loved you poorly, but with all of my ability Know I always wished that I could take you with me Know I always wished that I could take you with me
4.
Mayfly (ft. Preeti Shastri) Calls, calls me rootless A mayfly… This person This anomaly Stands before you over hollow ground And if you asker anything about me She’ll meet your eyes like a lover (Chakki chai rahi) And guide them down below her feet (Kabira baitha royee, Dono pud ke beech me) Soon you’re kicking up dirt As if the answer’s underneath (Saajha na nikle koi) How, how the bedrock howls (Chhod ke mat jaao ekli re Ban-) From so many miles, so many miles down (-jara re, Banjara re)
Calls, calls me rootless a mayfly (Chhod ke mat jaao) An aphid (ekli re Ban-) Though I may live and die in one day You’ll never see me waste it (-jara re, Banjara re) I shiver (Hiye kaaya mein bartan maati ro) And shed all my catastrophes (Hiye deli mein) But litter, never will my sorrows become (Phooti jaase nahin kare ranako) They travel to the tear drops of someone numb (Sahib hamko darr laage ek din ro) Mmm, and meet their eyes like a lover Under the skin, a dam is breaking And from some shallow grave The feelings start to breathe

How long was I gonna bend and carry All the people I’ve been and buried?
I don’t want to live in a catacomb Looking up at my life as if I’m below it I don’t own time and I just have a moment alive That I don’t want to spend in a catacomb So tell me what do you want to know? What do you want to know? What do you want to know? What do you want to know? How, how the bedrock howls (Chhod ke mat jaao ekli re Ban-) From so many miles, so many miles down (-jara re, Banjara re)
Calls, calls me rootless a mayfly (Chhod ke mat jaao) An aphid (ekli re Ban-) Though I may live and die in one day You’ll never see me waste it (-jara re, Banjara re) Though I may live and die in one day (Hiye kaaya mein) Though I may live and die in one day (Hiye kaaya mein)

about

cadmium: a meteor shower that just misses earth. a gorgeous flash of pain and light. the intensely juicy unknown. it's coffee with cream and sugar, sharing a milkshake with your lover, smoking a clove cigarette when your grandmother dies. a glass of wine. joyful risks. loving too hard, breaking. letting life break and mend and re-break you. it's all this fucking epic, campy, dramatic, tragic romance.
- elsa kennedy, on life & cadmium -

credits

released December 27, 2019

special thx to
Ric Hordinski: recording engineer, producer, mixing engineer
Brandon Lyons: mastering engineer
Studio Musicians: Viktor Krauss, bass; Ric Hordinski, guitar; Joshua Seurkamp, percussion; Taylor Eggers, bass; Preeti Shastri, background vocals;

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Elsa Kennedy Boston, Massachusetts

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